I think it’s appropriate to start off by being honest. I’m an over thinker. I have a knack for over-analyzing myself and being entirely too critical of what I do. This can often lead to paralyzation on projects. I talk myself out of doing things because I always second guess my ability. This blog/website is a testament of sorts. I have literally said to myself over and over again, “Toni, no one wants to read your words or look at pictures of your life.” We can be cruel to ourselves, yes?
For me, I discovered about 2 months ago that I’m a hardcore perfectionist. How I didn’t see it before then is a mystery but I believe God reveals things to us at the right time when we are ready or able to receive it. For me, that moment was in a grocery store. I had a buggy full of food and I literally had to walk out of the store and sit in my car for 30 minutes in silence. After the initial shock, I chalked up the courage to say to myself that it was true. I went back in the store and finished up my shopping with a newfound discovery about myself and no idea how to correct this misconception I’d bought into. Since discovering that I have perfectionistic tendencies, I’d love to say that it’s been easy to embrace the idea of things not being perfect, but to be honest, like most things in life, it has been a struggle.
Here’s what has happened though, I’m aware of the problem now. When I start to over think and become critical, I stop, take a deep breath, and tell myself to move forward. Don’t give up on your website, don’t stop writing, don’t stop taking pictures, don’t stop on yourself! Keep going forward and embrace all the imperfections that go along with you! It has been a revelation for me! Perfection doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion. It’s unattainable and until we realize that, we will strive towards a standard that cannot be reached. We are all helplessly flawed, but isn’t that what is so endearing about us? We have struggles and triumphs, highs and lows. It’s part of life and I’m learning that it’s what makes us who we are.
So, if you’re like I was and you see yourself less than perfect, IT’S OK! Embrace your imperfections, learn from them and keep moving forward.